Are you absolutely sure that you are ready for a divorce? Is your marriage irreconcilable? If you think there may be a glimmer of hope, take a look at the Beginning Anew exercise.
If you are sure that you are ready for divorce, then the next question is: "is mediation the right solution for you?". Here are some questions to help you make that decision.
- Do you want to mutually decide the outcome rather than have a third party impose a solution?
- Are you looking for a time and money saving approach?
- Will you have a continuing relationship with the other party after this matter is resolved?
- Are you interested in a fair and reasonable resolution for all concerned more than the absolute top dollar solution for you?
- Are you willing to acknowledge that the other party may have some good ideas worth considering?
- Would you consider modifying your current thinking based on the concerns of the other party?
- Are you able to put some of your bitterness, anger, fear, sadness, and hurt on the "back burner" while you work out the practical aspects of a resolution of the issues?
If you come to the decision that mediation is the right solution for you, and you decide to use this office, here are some things that you can do ahead of time in order to make mediation time more productive. The more productive the time, the more cost effective the process is for you:
If this mediation will involve children, spend some time thinking about what your children will continue to need from each of you as their parents. Remember that these needs are always changing over time according to age, sex, and the individuality of the child. Please bring a picture of your child (or children) to the first session.
For more information about the overall divorce process when you use mediation, please read Divorce Process.
"Divorce is one of the most difficult times in a person's life. The feelings can be overwhelming. It's a time of deep questioning about all the assumptions you've ever had as to "how life is supposed to be..". Planning some time to have "fun" is not self-indulgent, it's balancing, and can provide perspective."
June Adams Johnson